Sharing Story

To whom it may concern,

Feel free to share your stories as long as you are happy to share. I am very open to all stories (really? Haha). When I am freeing myself from other matters, I will check on my inbox.

If the stories inspire me, I might reply your email. If the stories are perfect, I might just read them with no replies. If the stories are confusing me, I might end up ignore or reply for better understanding.

This is my email address, adahredha@gmail.com .

If the story is super duper awesomely good, I might post it in my blog and share it to the world. Well, if you know me well, I love spreading love to all.

So, this would be my last post until I decided to write again. I might post more writing but it might be just sharing that I get from you.

Love.

Bit by bit

Bit by bit
I begin to
Se it.

Will it be clear enough
Let the Creator of the universe
Decides.

If what I feel is wrong
All I need is to
Let it all go
And do whatever
I like
Meeting new people
Meeting friends
Spread love
To all
Just like what I have been doing
Before all those madness happened.

If what I feel is right
Then,
I will let the Creator decides
How will it goes.

Bit by bit
I begin to
See it.

Feel it

As the time passing through
Seconds by seconds
I feel
Feel it
The peace inside me
Starts to bloom

Alhamdulillah.

An angel

The moment I see her, my heart beat faster. I don't know why but it always happen. She is like an angel. Nope. She is an angel. With little baby in her hands, it looks perfect even without her husband. I realize, everytime I see her, I feel in love with her, again.

Give

"Give your all to me
I’ll give my all to you
.......
You’re my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I’m winning"

(All Of Me)

The Sun

The sun has never failed to shine. Each second. It is just the earth that spins around, make the sun looks like it is running away from us. It is just the cloud that cover it from our sight, make the sun looks like hiding from us.

Only He knows the best

"The secrecy of the future remains a mystery almost to all of us. I won't give up on what I am believe in. But.."

"But?"

"When I gave my heart to someone without knowing when, I started to realize that the thing I believe in could be true. Until.."

"Hurm...."

"Until the moment he chose his own path, alone. "

"There must be reason. "

"Yes. Yes. There is. A reason. I think."

"See, I was right. I am pretty sure there must be at least a strong reason for his action."

"But I don't understand. How can a person who claimed that he or she loves you so much, chooses his or her path without asking the one he or she loves? How can he be so selfish taking that path on his own? Acting like a hero?"

"You mean he wanted to protect you. "

"Sort of. Still, I cannot see how can I have another heart to marry another man. I've been there. It took me years. Years."

"I see.. it is hard for you to accept the fact that he won't be with you. "

"Yes."

"Why?"

"If it is destiny, how can he see that? How can he be so sure of the future? Why can't I?"

"Hurm.. I don't know. "

"I can't see the future too. Still, I believe that I will have someone besides me who I call husband. And be with him to meet the Creator. Unless, I am in my 50 and still unmarried or I die before I get married, then, yes, I can accept that I am a single person. "

"Make sense."

"He did say it is natural to have the feeling of having a family of our own and babies.. but then, he chose something that beyond the natural things that he said. "

"Hurm... maybe whatever reason he has is more powerful that the feeling of all those you said. "

"Then leave me would be the best thing to do, I think. It is hurt to miss him but it is more painful to know that he wont be the one. "

"Are you sure?"

"Man, you don't know woman. It is not easy, dear. It is not. When it comes to heart matters, it is hard. I did try my best but it is hard. I try to ignore the feeling, the more I feel. When I let the feeling comes, the greater the pain. "

"I wish I could feel the burden you are feeling right now.

"It is sometimes feels like the flower blooming, the sky blue, feel so great...but sometimes it feels like being stabbed straight to the heart thousands times."

"What are you going to do then?"

"I am giving it all back to Him. Only He knows the best. "

Help

"Do you want me to help you out?"

"No. Thank you."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I am positive."

"You have someone else to help? That's good."

"No. I don't have."

"Then?"

"I am asking help only from Him. I am sorry. It is not that I do not need any help from you at all, it just that, on this particular matter, as I always did, I will ask only Him. Besides, He is the One Who Know it all."

"Indeed. I am glad to know that. May you find peace in everything you do and feel. Aameen."

"Aameen."

Forgot

"I forgot"

"About what?"

"I forgot to care about others. As I walked around the facebook, I found out that I have missed out about their life events, and some of those, importance one. I forgot to check on them. I was too busy with myself. How selfish I am."

"No you are not. Everyone has their own things and stuffs to cover."

"I am. How can I let myself to becoming a busy body towards those who are very close to me? Especially those who are very kind and helpful when I in my final study years. I feel to awful. This is so not me. I always care about them. I always check on them."

"Maybe you were distracted."

"Maybe."

Disease

"Perfection is disease of a nation, it's the soul that needs a surgery"

(Pretty Hurt, Beyonce)

Empty

"Why can see through you?"

"Hmm..."

"Empty."

"I myself fail to understand myself. How can I answer you?"

Excitement

"The moment when you have lost the excitement to live, someone has to remind you to eat or you don't feel to. Because dying is not something scary anymore."

"It is alright. As long as you have the will to move on at least a reason, that is enough."

"Hurm.."

"Keep on walking, you haven't reach yet."

Soften

"Hey, go on and live your life."

"I am."

"Hurm... I can see it. You bad at hiding."

"Maybe this is one of the way, the Creator wants to soften my heart."

Gift(s)

'Love is like a present from the Creator. Usually, we would be happy and joy when we receive gift(s). Still, is it fair to love the gift(s) more than the giver?'

(Page 23, Semuanya Soal Hati, Pahrol Mohamad Juoi, 2013)

*Translated by me from Malay to English Language.

Vanish

"It seems like you have gone. Is it for good?"

"Yes. I guess so. No. I mean I am sure. This is the only way."

"Why? How can you think that way?"

"Because I believe that HE The All Knowing, knows my heart and what I feel. I believe this is the only way. I can't take this anymore."

"Are you hurt? Hate so much?"

"No", crying. "Not because of hating. Because the feeling that I have is too strong for me to handle. I am scared. I miss him so much. He doesn't understand that I..", crying. "that I cannot be like him. I cannot live with somebody else while my heart is with him. I cannot pretend that I am okay to be apart. How can he admitted that he has the same feeling but choose to live all by himself?"

"I am sorry." Hugging, to calm her down.

"That's why I choose to vanish. I need time for myself. I need to know it myself from HIM. I need this."

"I understand."

Bleed

"My heart is bleeding."

"Yeah, of course. If there's no blood, how can you survive." Laugh.

"You know what I mean.."

"Yes.. Yes.. I do, dear. Care to share with me?"

"Hurm... the one who I love the most chooses to live alone."

"What? Why?"

"All I know that fact keeps my heart bleed. Worse, I don't die. Sometimes I wish I am just not exist to feel this way."

"What are you going to do?"

"Die."

Scars

"What are these?"

"What? Oh, these. They are the scars from the past."

"How long is that past?"

"9 years ago."

"What happened?"

"They reminds me to keep on believing in good times. To keep on moving and living when I broke down. Because when I was a child, I did my best to stay alive.  Then, why should I stop now?"

Doubt

"Do you know what?"

"What it is?"

"When I was younger, I did trust someone until I left my friends, just to prove to him that I am a loyal person."

"You must be so in love at that time."

"Ironically, he was always in doubt with me. He claimed that he trusted me, it just that he doubted me."

"Doubt? But still trust?"

"But yeah, I still trusted him until something happened and I stopped believing in people around me."

"I am sorry to hear that."

"It is fine. After a couple of years, I started to believe again."

"That is great. To be able to believe in is a miracle."

"I am blessed. But now, I realize that the same situation strike me again. Except thus time around, I never left out my friends. Trust but in doubt."

"And you believe him?"

"Never in doubt."

"What are you going to do then?"

"I don't know. I just don't know."

Inspire

"If you cannot find any inspiration in this little world, be one. Be one that inspire others."

Care

"How can you still care?"

"Because he gave his everything to me. He trusted me when he knew it was hard for him to trust people around him. He let me in, to touch his aching soul. His most vulnerable part. Then, how can I ignore him just because of some mistakes that he did?"

Broken Wheel

"What happen to you?"

"My wheel is broken. I am always at the bottom. This is insane. I don't understand why this is happening? Why am I always at the bottom?"

"Are you sure it is broken? It is real you are at the bottom or you feel like you are at the bottom?"

"What do you mean? It is the same, right?"

"Wheel of life can never be broken because life never stop spinning. It is impossible to stay at the bottom all the time. It is either we do not notice the moment we are at the peek or we always compare ourselves to others when they are at their peek. I mean, not everyone who is success, or so we thought, always at the top because again, life is a spinning wheel. We can never always stay at the bottom or top. It always change."

"So, mine is not broken?"

"Well, I might say yes, it is not."

Happiness

"What makes you happy?"

"Everything"

"Even the one that hurt you the most?"

"Yes"

A Story of A Girl

This is a story of a girl who held onto the concept of a serious relationship. I wrote this as a reminder to those youngsters out there who decide to have a so called serious relationship. It can end up with happiness or grieve. It is up you to decide how your life will be. Happy reading. 😊

In 2009, she was not like the others. Very different. Her friends could see smile and laugh. At night time, she went to her little space and cried. There was when she collected her courage and spirit to keep her alive.

She was the bench level of trust by some teachers. She was the bravest of all, they thought. Inside, she was like glass, strong but very fragile.

She asked for strength. Then, came a person who she thought a little strength for her.

She was starting to see the light and felt happy. She knew him, they knew each other but they seldom met. Texting was the only way they kept in touch with one another. Not all the time but just enough for them to share abouy life and views.

Until there was a time, he asked her about marrige, to promise to wait for him. It was a question that she did not expect to hear. Held onto the serious relationship concept, from friend, both of them moved to a serious relationship that they both vowed to end with a marriged life.

She was happy with the decision she made. So was him. To strengthen and care the promise, she began to set rules for herself. The relationship must be kept secret until they got married. She did not want others to know because it was a promise they both made. Why bother telling others? She thought. She seldom texts and calls unless there was a need. She kept her feeling well. She followed his steps, his advises and his all. She began to focus on him, stopped contacting others only him. Both family knew about this. Both parents were okay.

Contrary, the guy, he spreaded around abou the relationship almost to all people that they both knew; teachers and friends. When she questioned about it, he asked her why would she embarrassed with the relationship? She claimed it was not something that appropriate (for her) to spread to all until they both got married.

There was up and down moments. Still, they hung up to one another. Kept on trusting and love each other.

Until, another person came in. At first it was a normal meeting with friend, they both thought. She was here, at home. He was away from her, continuing his study. The third person started contacting the guy. She was okay with that. Since the third person was a very dear friend during school time and she respected her a lot.

Then, the third person started to ask to meet with the guy. She stopped him. For her, it was not okay to meet the third person alone. She could sense there was something not okay.

But the guy insisted.

After few days, he contacted her. Told her everything that happened. She broke down. Crying. Trying to accept the news. Still, with everything left in her, with love, she forgave him. She held onto the power of love and the vow she made with him.

At the same moment, the third person kept on asking for him to focus on her despites of knowing that he has someone else. The third person asked the girl to let go of him. She refused. The guy asked her to be patient and waited for him to solve the mess. The girl asked him to leave the third person for good but he said no. He wanted to help the third person.

After months of not contacting one another, she began to move on. Her friends told her about the engagement for the third person and the guy. They knew it from a media social. She broke down. Hurt. Not knowing where to ask, she tried to contacting him but failed. The third person interuppted and asked her to forget about the guy. She was devastated.

One day, the guy called her and asked her to wait for him. He said that his heart was belong to her not the third person. He was lost. The third person took control over his phone and all. With the love and vowed, she forgave him and said she would wait for him. Her family thought everything was okay. She did not tell about it.

When she continued her study, she began to move on with life. Trying not to think about him.

Until he called her she. He explained everything to her. He said he had left the third person. She asked him to stop contacting her.

She had let go of everything. The hurt was beyond her expectation. She could not believe anymore. At the same time, he kept trying to win her back.

She insisted with her decision to move on with life. Why waited for one who could not stand for her when he had the chance? If he loved her so much, why would not him let go of the third person when she asked him to. She had let go of others, why couldn't he do the same? Why came back after?

Then serious relationship concept vanished with the bitter memory. She moved on with life, searching for the meaning of life.

After a year, he called her and asked her to come to his wedding in June 2012.

She was so happy that finally he found someone else who could replace her. And promise herself to keep on living the life with lots of love.

Learn

"Where did you learn so much about everything?"

"Anywhere. I learn so much from where I'm standing just by looking around."

We Can Never Buy Trust

"It is okay to be afraid to drive. It can help you to be careful and care for safety. But too scared can be fatal too. When you feel afraid to drive, use the fear to make yourself conscious about hazard around you while driving. Do everything you can to drive safely. Try to control the fear into something good."

"Sounds hard."

"It is hard. But when you manage to do it, I bet, you will be happy to arrive your destination safely. And the passenger can rely their trust onto you. I know you know, we can never buy trust."

Fame

"How people build their fame?"

"Through wealth, education and the highest one is attitude."

"How about you?"

"I'm not an excellent student but my teacher still remember me even after 10 years. He might not remember my name but he could recognize me pretty well."

"What did you do back there?"

"I smile a lot till the teacher scolded me for smiling while being scolded."

Cherish Flaws, Embrace Beauty

"How to know whether I really treat other people with love or not?"

"When they to small mistakes, you feel hurt. It means you give huge amount of love and you care to much till you get hurt easily."

"Then, how to love freely and happily?"

"Just love them, accept them, accept their everything; cherish their flaws, embrace their beauty."

Merajuk

"Merajuk ke?"

"Hurm"

"Tak apa la. Nak merajuk dengan aku tak apa. Aku terima."

"Hurm"

"Merajuk dengan Tuhan, jangan. Jangan sesekali."

"Allah..."

I respect

"You can have me
With my absence
You can feel me
Without looking at me
You can connect with me
Magically

I admit all above
And I respect your view.

I have mine too

I want to have
I want to be connected
Both magically and physically

I want to feel
To have someone I call husband
I want to feel
To have at least a child I call son or daugther
I want to devote my life
To my own family

I want to experience all above.

You can stay where you are
Believe in what you believe in
Cherish every moment of your life with that

I understand.

I will have to move on
Devoting to my family and my future family

I have a hope, once.
Not twice but many times, my hope broken into pieces
Each and every time I build it again with tears, once it stood still high up in the sky, your words broke it into pieces.

Maybe those were the sign, given by the Creator to stop trying, and move on.

I have my own views and believes
In the mean time, with the time I do not own, I will continue spread love to all."

Spread

"Because love is the only rationale act, let me be me spreading love to anywhom I want and I like. Let me love them all."

By Adahredha