"Would you be my soul-mate?"

"Would you be my soul-mate?"

I'm pretty sure most of us have experienced this. Me? unexceptionally.

............................................................................................................

"Teacher, what kind of cepumas question??"
"hahaha"
"come on la..."
"I think you do know the question... and I know the answer.."
"Ala teacher... I want you to ask me first..!"

............................................................................................................

"Teacher, I was a fat boy when I was in standard 6."
"Really?"
"Yes, then I on diet la.."
"wow, seriously?"
"Yes because someone asked me to"
"Oh.. you family?"
"urm... ehehehe"
"Okay, I guess the someone is not a family member la kan?"
"hahahaha"
"Oh my...! I can believe this... you were only in standard 6!!"
"hahaha... it is still on going la teacher... 4 years now"
"...................."(jaw dropping moment)
"And we seldom contact la teacher... "
"....................."

............................................................................................................

It was like a slap on my face. I was seriously believe the student's statement before and now the student was making a confession without I sensed a split of embarrassment. My heart broke.

Knowing the student as the best student who being nice with teacher and have a good name starting from his brothers, really broke my heart into million of pieces... 

............................................................................................................

I wish I talk to him more about this but I'm not that good in words.

Dear student of mine,

Sorry to hear that you are actually in a relationship with her. The truth is I was so shock to hear your confession and become more devastating when you have just said it without hesitate. The excuses of yours were not that concrete for me to be happy or feel relief. 

Once again, I though you were different (feels like dejavu). I did check, I did ask yet the answer of yours was so lenient to me that I took it for real. But I was being given a fake answer. 

I was once, in your position. Giving reasons for everything that I could, to stand up for the 'truth' that I thought was a truth while all those things were not a truth. Worst than that. 

Blurring about my true deen, I accepted the 'propose' after thinking for almost a week. Making judgement of my own, based on my own thinking, forgetting the deen. It was like yours, seldom contact, no meeting unless with parents. Even I myself changed, completely to someone else, perhaps better. But it was all for him, actually. Deep in my heart, rebelled. Started to search for real judgement, the judgement of deen, the completely truth. 

Until I was suffocated with this'engagement'. Lots of challenges came, making me to rethink about it all over again. If it was the truth, I myself should feel happy, calm, and cheer yet I wasn't. The sweetest moment was only at the beginning. 

After I have learned more and more about deen, I decided. I understood. This was not it. Since that day, I regretted myself of having it. Dear student, this is the reality of it. Fine, if you said yours are different, then I could give to you more that an example of any other relationship that same as you that ended with no happy ever after.

I understood that you do understand this deen. So, please reflect it again, do you really think what you are having now is correct and allowed? Think again, dear.......

............................................................................................................

"Teacher, are you married?"
"err... no"
"but you are wearing heenai"
"Oh! this? haha.. na ah.. just feel like want to wear it"
"ha..... you are just dreaming la ni..." 
"huh? hahaha... sort of"

well, the truth is, I have lost a half of my trust to any kind of serious relationship unless....... (to be continued)