Present Time

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

(In the name of God, the most Gracious, the most Merciful)

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I do believe that every single thing and event that come across me is a part of the plan from God. Even if it is such an unpleasant incident because each an everything that happens has reason(s) behind it. I do not know what will happen next and I will not wait for it. Better to treasure the present time than to wait and expect something later which 90% will hurt me. 

As for now, I realize the situation I am in is not a part of my plan. I never asked to be here. never wanted to be in this situation where I myself hate the most but all I can do is just be with it. Be it if I have to hurt people. Be it if I have to hurt myself. Be it whatever it is because for sure, it is all in His plan. Whether I cry of cherish the moment? I just will follow what my heart wants to feel. 

There is a situation where force me to create a distance with people, emotionally. I found it helps me well to regain my consciousness towards my own feelings - be modest with the heart business. How do I do it? I set up some rules with certain people like to avoid certain words, quotes and pictures that could show their or my feelings towards one another. After a while, I could see the differences and I like it. It gives me some space to myself to express and be me without having to think about what others perspectives. Then, I go for another level of challenge (which I am excited to do) is to stop contacting one another for a period of time. It has been two days and I am still okay. Filling my days with positive thoughts and new me. It is cool actually. Couldn't wait to do the next challenge which I think will be about stop contacting for months (for now it is by weeks). Yeay!

So, I think this is the best - to not be alone and not attached with people emotionally. So long people. I'll write again next time.

Wassalam